Looking to be Saved (by my vacations, jobs, etc)
What I'm Up To (Being Human), What I Reflected On (PTO and Breaks being my savior)
Hello Professionally Curious One!
So I guess I write every two weeks now.
Cheers,
Allen
Past Publications
What I’m Up To
TL;DR: Being human
The Things:
I went to The Parlor twice in the same day. It’s so good.
Fogo De Chao is a place that when you go there enough times, you figure out the game plan is just to eat lamb and Picana.
Got my tires for my car. Chose these because it’s supposed to be a quieter ride. I have no idea if that’s a true statement.
Luminar Mezcal Reposado is a solid $30 Mezcal that isn’t sweet.
So there are scammers commenting on my very first post. Not going to link, but you should know: Don’t click links from strangers unless it’s in the context of a cohesive comment and conversation.
This is the best farmers market in Orange County and you can actually buy some fresh fruits and vegetables that are of reasonable price. Just be warned, you have to eat them within 3-5 days as these vegetables do not have any preservative coatings. Also there’s a Belgian fries stand and it is top notch.
dPot shabu is now AYCE and it’s GOAT.
I can 100% recommend this simple camera that you can rotate 360 if you have pets you need to watch at home.
Strange New Worlds is back, LFG!!!!
What I Reflected On: Looking to be Saved (by my vacations)
TL;DR: Put a vacation in your day, not just to weekends or actual vacations.
Looking to be Saved
Three weeks ago I had made a last minute decision to completely cancel a vacation trip to New England. I had planned to avoid Boston by trekking through Maine and stopping by a graduation in New Hampshire. The decision to cancel happened over the weekend before a Monday night flight after a full throttle work drive that I had been on since March 2023. I had not worked at the level of intensity since my last year of financial audit at EY.
On the Monday or Tuesday of my repurposed vacation into a staycation, in the hopeful glee of someone who is totally going to enjoy playing video games at home perpetually. But, as all rationalized best laid new plans, things did not pan out as I had hoped. I didn’t realize that after cancelling the trip that I would have a high level of tension and weirdness in me, the kind of weirdness that feels like “everything’s alright” as the world crashes.
A very heartfelt conversion with my SO and I realized (well, we, since we were both wanting the same thing, but let’s make this about me) that what I was experiencing was grief. Grief that I couldn’t get a reprieve, an adventure - actual sunlight (there was no sunlight in Southern California for 6 weeks).
It dawned on me that I had previously learned this lesson back in 2021. This feeling of pent-up-ness but nothing was relieving it, like a micro pressure build up but nothing you do in the homespace is recharging you. With the help of a coach back then, I learned that when I had busy weekdays, forgoing life and the things that make us feel human during the weekdays, and stacking all the things that could make us feel alive over the weekends, what I was really doing was setting myself for an unhealthy relationship with weekends.
In short, I was hoping my weekends would be my savior.
And I was also hoping my vacation out of the home would also be my savior.
And when it didn’t, I burnt out.
Every time my time to be human did not pan out as expected, whether it got cancelled or it was stressful to high heaven, I would come back in the weekdays not at all recharged as the fuel I needed to recharge never made it to me.
This long-term relationship with my weekends positioned as as savior, or vacations positioned to save me from my regular day to day, would create a form of salvation expectation. I had, whether consciously or unconsciously, put a lot of hope and expectation that I would be saved. And it would be quite disappointing for when it didn’t happen.
It was a life reminder that I think I will most likely relearn again, and again.
I could say be human during the day, but that’s a dramatic cliche of what the lesson here is. If you want to prevent burnout, I recommend you “take a vacation during the weekday” so that your weekends are icing on a cake. It’ll help you with general burnout.
Afterthought
Realizing after I wrote this piece that I also relearned another lesson here. Back in 2021, I had an aggressive recruiting season that culminated in enough offers that meant absolutely nothing to me. After a combination of not liking my job, and spending a lot of energy looking for my next career, I realized I was looking for a job…to also save me.
Even when I got the job (offers), I felt nothing - not relief, nor gratitude, nor happiness - I definitely felt built up tension and burn out (can one feel burnout?). The aftermath of this experience left me to simply quit my stable career job into a career break where yours truly is becoming more yours truly.
The aftermath of not having a vacation save me from my day to day was a reminder of how I need to prioritize how I spend a day which is quite simply: Rest and be human more often.
"Rest when you're weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work." - Ralph Marston